?

Log in

 
 
13 September 2014 @ 01:11 am
tears of annoyance and anger  
there are of tears of joy, tears from fangirling experience and tears of sadness (my usual case) and then....

there're tears of frustration.

he arrived past midnight.
everyone is still awake.
bro is still playing
mom doing laundry
im in my room

heard him opened the fridge and said "wala na namang makain"

i remember there are bread in the counter

he then said "oh eto. kanino to?"
bro: "wala"
"kakainin ko na to ha"
"sa susunod lagyan niyo ng pangalan ang sainyo (para di ko na kakainin)"

OMFG.

I LITERALLY WANT TO STEP OUT OF MY ROOM AND FREAKING CURSE AT HIM. SCREAM AT HIM.
"oh lagyan mo daw ng pangalan"
"sinasabi naman sayo kung pwede kainin ha"
"kung maka reklamo kala mo hindi marunong magluto"
"kung makareklamo kala mo hindi pinapakain"
"sasabihin sayo kung hindi pwede"
"wag mong isipin na sinasabi sayo kasi hindi pwede sayo lahat ng ito. dahil most of the time nagluluto para kay bon"
"dahil si bon hindi marunong magluto"
"eh ikaw na matanda na. marunong ka diba?!"
"pag kinain mo sa hapon walang kakain YUNG BATA NA HINDI MARUNONG"
"pucha nakakainis"

i want to say this 30 mins ago - when it happened.

pero like most cases, hindi ko magawa and as a result iniiyak ko na lang yung galit ko.
i don't remember (but im pretty sure i did it before) the last time i cried because of intense anger over somebody (which is most likely him always)

iniyak ko lahat, just trying to calm down.
im now still angry but already calm, that's why i can type this entry.

kung tutuusin simpleng bagay lang to
"oo sumasagot ako. pero alam mo kung ILANG BESES KO NG GUSTONG SUMAGOT? TINATAGO KO LANG PERO MARUNONG DIN AKONG MAPUNO. KAHIT PAPANO MAY RESPETO AKO SAYO KASI TATAY KITA PERO MARUNONG DIN AKONG MAPUNO"

"nakita mo na akong umiyak dati. pero wala kang halos narinig kundi iyak. yung mga narinig mo dati walang wala yon SA LAHAT NG GUSTO KONG SABIHIN"

i guess i haven't reached my limit cause i haven't said these ALL yet.
there's more to say, more to write "at least sinasabi ko sayo at hindi ko dinadaan sa parinig, NAPAKA IMMATURE PUTANG INA"


only way is to hide and cry.